Some of these tweets below are from today and the rest are from a few days ago. I’m particularly proud of these, but it doesn’t mean anyone else will like them. One of big things I notice about Project Runway is how a designer will be inordinately proud of something they made and they think the judges will love it, but the judges will tear them a new asshole on how awful it is. Yes, you should be proud of your own work, but if you want to put something in front of an audience you shouldn’t be surprised when they turn into a firing squad. I think that’s why I like trying my hand at humor, you know right away if someone likes it. Although all in all I’m probably better at cooking than at being funny.
Sometimes it’s painful giving up living in a fantasy world. For example when I stopped believing in the tooth fairy I lost an income source.
I’d be more inclined to believe in the invisible hand of the market if it gave a reacharound every once in a while.
And Jesus said blame the poor for their own misfortune. Tell the lazy to find work. Tell the hungry to bake their own pie.
The rich will tell you the moral of the story of Les Miserables is, “Don’t steal the bread.”
If someone complains you never say anything nice about Sarah Palin, you can say she knows the difference between a lectern and a podium.
A selection of my recent tweets within in the last 24 hours @clm122704. I decided not to put time stamps but the one at the top is the most recent:
RT @ryking: “Cheney Threatens to Further Isolate Republican Party:” http://is.gd/Og28 // Oh, please, please, please, please, PUH-LEAZE!!!!
Everyone needs a coffee table book (1/2 the size of an actual coffee table) on tractors http://twitpic.com/6lz71
Oh noze! Now teh gay penguins are hurting traditional marriage http://bit.ly/12G5Se Damn you, Iowa! Damn you to Nebraska!
RT @markosm: Hannity loses head, claims Obama has declared America a “Muslim nation”. http://bit.ly/dK4Ud // #assclownalert
RT @dmf71: The Common Link Between Writers & Mental Illness http://tinyurl.com/pfjf8q #writing
Commuter dogs in Russia http://bit.ly/137kVi
Teh stoopid. It burns! Glenn “Assclown” Beck & Jonah “Cheeto dust inhaler” Golberg verbally ejaculate http://bit.ly/IY5hW #tcot #p2
I wish they made giant gerbil wheels to burn off excess energy for small dogs and children.
Twitter as a venue for male bonding? http://bit.ly/27XPn
WWJS – Who would Jesus shoot? Would Jesus have walked up to Dr. Tiller in church and gunned him down?
Yes. No. No. No. Yes. Maybe. Yes. Maybe. Maybe. Sure, why not. http://bit.ly/K69df
OK. I thought I’d give it a try since I saw shadowhelm posting her tweets on LJ. Though I’m not using the same service. I’m doing copy & paste and I’m not posting all of my tweets for the day, just the ones I feel like.
Gauguin’ cut off Van Gogh’s ear? http://tinyurl.com/dyqepx 10 minutes ago from web
I’m being followed by @EthelTheFrog. We’ll see how long that lasts since frogs are going extinct. about 2 hours ago from web
Joe the Plumber: Republican’s expired jar of Baconnaise or freezer burned Jimmy Dean’s Chocolate Chip Pancakes & Sausage on a Stick? about 3 hours ago from web
Bush-Cheney Regime epitaph: Never has so much been taken from so many by so few #p2 #tcot #jebus Special thanks to Phil Gramm about 7 hours ago from Tweetie
From the time I received the email that @ezMoneyMaker was following me on Twitter until the time I blocked it was 12 seconds. A record. about 7 hours ago from web
@cashewredneck you know how you can tell which Okla senator, Inhofe or Coburn, is more embarrassing? The one that’s talking. #p2 #tcot about 8 hours ago from web in reply to cashewredneck
RT: @MistaBell: Want To Avoid Swine Flu? There’s An App For That Too: http://bit.ly/udL3u about 8 hours ago from web
It’s #StarWarsDay. These aren’t the tweets you are looking for. Move along. about 11 hours ago from Tweetie