I was trying to figure out how to get evangelicals to vote for Obama come November. Then it hit me. He’s the Antichrist. (He’s not of course, and it would be mindbogglingly irresponsible of me to even suggest it). The evangelical Christians think the world is going to end realsoonnow and that Armageddon is just around the corner. But it’s worse than that. They are actively trying to bring it about. One hopes that Bush’s faith is more lip service than real and that he is cynically manipulating evangelicals. At least his handlers are.
Evangelicals are active supporters of Israel, and the Israelis take advantage of that support even though the support is contingent upon bringing about The Rapture. So I had the thought that well if the evangelicals see Obama as the Antichrist it would mean that realsoonnow is going to be REALSOONNOW and they’ll all get transported to Heaven via the Archangel Scotty’s magical transporter beam. Since some of them are actively trying to bring about the end of the world, they know a vote for Obama would bring them one step closer to God. The only problem with that is in the Book of Revelations the Antichrist suffers a fatal wound and miraculously recovers. Who among us doesn’t think that Obama were he elected POTUS would not be targeted more than Bush?
Now comes the part where I tell you that I googled Obama and antichrist to see if someone else has thought of it. Lo and behold someone has. Not just anyone but Douche Bag Extraordinaire and Assclown Supreme Glenn Beck has. He was interviewing Hagee and asked him if Obama was the Antichrist. Hagee said no, but did he really mean it?
Did I mention that it would be mindbogglingly irresponsible to suggest it? Oh, wait. I’m writing about Glenn Beck. Never mind.
If you google Bush and antichrist you get 141,000 hits. Cheney and antichrist gets 222,000 hits. Clinton and antichrist gets you 548,000 hits. Obama and antichrist gets a whopping 643,000 hits. There’s been so much speculation even Snopes has to deal with the question: Is Barack Obama the Anti-Christ? Sigh.
Of course we all know that Ronald Wilson Reagan is the Antichrist. So once he reappears, we know it’ll be the end of the world. I expect that to happen realsoonnow.